Shared Hobby

When I was 3 I started playing soccer.  My dad knew nothing about soccer, but threw himself into clinics, coaching, and playing along side me.  We developed a shared love for a sport that still creates a connecting point today as I bounce coaching questions and watch games with him.  If you feel like you are struggling to connect with your teen, I want to encourage you to begin something new in your relationship with them. Shake off the staleness of the same ole’ day in and day out and start fresh! A great way to do that is to find a hobby that you can share with your teen. Something you both can become passionate about!

And that means asking your teenager their opinion on this! What do they like, what do you like, what are their interests, and what are yours? Write them all down and then find a common thread that you can work with.

There is something powerful in watching a son and his dad play golf together, or a mom and her daughter go hiking together or a parent and their teen reading the same book while they share coffee at a coffee shop together.

God has given us a very valuable gift and it is called time. Psalms 31:15 says, “My times are in Your hand…” I know that time is hard to come by with all of the commitments that we have.

Think of how much more valuable our time would be if we took it out of our hands and placed it in God’s by creating a time that we could share with our teenager…a time that you could get to know each other as individuals by sharing a hobby. A hobby is so much more than doing something that is fun. It is creating an avenue where relationship can blossom!

We’ll finish this session today with a video that will help you get started…  http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/87519592/fd702b22c1

I'm praying for you and rooting for you as you work tirelessly nurturing your kids and helping them grow.  

On Wednesday, October 14, we will be taking the middle school youth to NCHS Baseball field behind the school to partner with Fellowship of Christian Athletes Fields of Faith.  A van will leave from SBC at 6pm heading to the event and will return about 8:15.  If you'd prefer to take your kids directly to the event and pick them up from there, that is fine.  This event will take the place of Middle School Youth next week.  If you have questions, feel free to ask Lee.

from wingdings to emojis

iJ&.!,

Get that?  Well, using wigdings might have been a funny way of typing when we were in high school, but today, communicating with images is the norm.  We seem to have moved from a written form of communication to communicating using images and symbols (emojis).  How do you deal with social media at your house?  I have read a couple of blogs recently that I think are interesting as you think about being connected and how your family uses social media.  In this blog the author discusses three technical advances in the past 20 years: 1. It’s all portable, 2. There’s no time limit, 3. It’s all around.  He follows with part 2, discussing the way kids think about technology: 1. Everything is temporary, 2. We’re image based culture, 3. There are no boundaries, 4. We’ve lost our privacy, 5. The internet is 24/7.  With these realities present in teenage (and adult) culture, we are going to have to adapt as we relate to one another, we as adults can help our kids learn strategies for using technology in a healthy way.  For me, I try to keep in mind that technology and social media are tools for productivity and relating to people, however they should never replace time spent and genuine relationships with real people.  As you think about how you and your family relate to technology and social media I’d love to hear how you strike a balance, what are your “rules or guidelines”?  How can we as a youth ministry help you as you learn about technology and social media and working with your kids?

LIFE!!

5 years ago we left the hospital with our first baby.  I remember the feeling as we started pulling out of the hospital parking lot… “WHAT ARE THEY THINKING TRUSTING ME TO TAKE CARE OF THIS TINY HUMAN!?”  Yes I meant that to be in ALL CAPS, the voice in my head was screaming.  I felt like there should have been more prep than running through some paper work and making sure we had a car seat to secure this tiny human on the car ride home.  A year ago, we brought #2 home, and believe it or not, I had the same thoughts: “WHAT WERE THOSE DOCTORS AND NURSES THINKING!?” But in the crash course of life we have figured out how to protect these children trusted to us.  We try to catch them before they fall, we hold them up in the pool, keep them out of traffic, you know all the things that protect them and keep them kicking.

But what if there is more?  I think there is…. Deuteronomy 32:46-47 gives us a post script charge that is meant to impart life to us and our families.  After Moses had given the law we have these verses: “take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law.  They are not just idle words for you—they are your life.  By them you will live long in the land…” (emphasis mine)

The words of scripture are not just idle words, not just a means of being spiritual or good, but the words of scripture are LIFE!  We are given these words to provide life to our children, our families, and the world around us. 

This week at youth we will be studying how to memorize scripture.  This is something I struggle with, but if we read, recite, review, repeat, we can hide God’s word in our hearts.  This isn’t just a good thing to do, it is LIFE!  Psalm 119:11 says “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you (God).”  This is life, scripture imbedded in our hearts, minds, lives, not just keeping us alive, but giving us abundant life.

I hope you will join me in making the scriptures a regular part of our family’s life, one simple method: read, recite, review, repeat.  Impart life!

Knowing When to Stand Strong with your Teenager, part 2

Thank you for being that kind of parent! Thank you for being willing to show your vulnerability by your willingness to say you’re wrong. Thank you for being courageous in standing by what you say when you know you are right! And thank you for knowing the difference between the two!

I have often wondered how different the conversations would have been between Job and his friends when they were counseling him after he had lost almost everything in the book of Job if they had been willing to change their responses to him. Did they sound so right in their own ears that they missed how pious they sounded? And even when they were right, it was lost on Job because of their own self-righteousness! Job even followed their example by becoming self-righteous himself!

Do we do that to our own teens? By assuming we are right, do we not allow for the possibility that God needs a different word spoken? Let me encourage you to always be willing to ask yourself two questions as you walk with your teen through these years! Am I willing to show and teach humility by changing my mind if my decision is wrong? Am I willing to stand strong on what I truly believe is right no matter how hard it is? Courage and vulnerability always go hand in hand!

Some things to be aware of:
September 13- Homecoming we will have 1 morning worship service at 11am (no 9am), Sunday School will still be at 10am and the morning worship will be followed by lunch.  There will still be Sr. High youth at 6pm that night.

For the next 6 weeks we are doing a series on spiritual HABITS (Hang out with God, Accountable Friendships, Bible Memorization, Involvement in Church body, Tithing, Studying Scripture).  If you’d like resources, your own copy of a 12 session devotion, or thoughts on reinforcing these HABITS at home, let me know.

September 19- Fall Rally at Camp Cowen.  Cost= $5, leave Saturday morning, be back Saturday evening.  Sign up by September 13.

Knowing When To Stand Strong With Your Teenager Part 1

Dear Parent,

Have you ever had that moment when you are having a heated discussion with your teen but you are also having a verbal battle in your head with yourself? You know, when you’ve told them “no” as a knee jerk reaction, but you can’t for the life of you figure out why you said no. And as you stand there defending your decision, you are trying desperately to figure out how to save face and change your answer at the same time!

It’s not rocket science but it sure seems as difficult. Can I give you a suggestion when you find yourself in this situation? It’s not earth shattering, but I have found it to work. Stop, even if it’s in the middle of your sentence, and ask your teen to repeat their request. Seriously, it’s that simple. Take a moment to really listen to what they want, ask them questions that will help you more clearly understand the situation, and if necessary, tell them you have changed your mind.

This doesn’t show weakness at all. It does show your teenager that you know that sometimes you realize you are wrong. That shows wisdom. Sometimes, you change your mind because you know you are wrong. That shows courage. And wisdom and courage always result in respect.

And isn’t that one of the main things we want to teach our teens? Respect.

Check out the online parenting class for this month:https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/128265196/583814b696

Fall Rally signup deadline is September 13, check out info, cost is $15

Walking with you,

Lee

Why Does Parenting Seem so Lonely

How are you? That question seems like an odd way to start this email but I really want to know.

I want to know how you are feeling about parenting? Are you frustrated or scared or uncertain because parenting a teenager is just about the hardest thing you have ever done? I would imagine many of you are nodding your head about now. And do you know what our default is set to when we get frustrated or scared? We draw back or isolate when what we really need to do is reach out to another person for encouragement.

Just in case you haven’t heard someone say it out loud, parenting can feel like one of the loneliest aspects of your life. But it doesn’t have to be. There are so many times you will question your decisions regarding your teenager and in that uncertainty you will feel as if you are the only one to struggle with this. But you’re not. There are other parents who have walked this same path and would love to encourage you with encouragement that they themselves received.

2 Corinthians 1: 4 says, “He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God!”

I can’t think of a clearer way for God to state that He doesn’t wish for any of us to feel alone even in the loneliness of parenting!

So….how are you? Because I really want to know! Check out this month’s Online Parenting Class… .  

Upcoming Events:

• Sunday August 16- Camp Cowen Family Picnic 1pm, games, food, conversation.  No evening services at SBC.
• Sunday August 16- Move up Sunday, Children and Youth will begin going to the class represented by their grade this fall.
• Wednesday August 19- Middle School Youth starts back, 6-8pm.
• Sunday August 23- Senior High Youth first night 6-8pm.
• Saturday September 19- Fall Rally @ Camp Cowen cost $5.

We no longer use the texting service, every youth text will come from Lee's number, email leeboso@gmail.com to be added to that list.

Helping Teens Deal with Drama

The definition for drama is a situation or sequence of events that is highly emotional, tragic, or turbulent. Ok, I think that encompasses most of the teenage years! Really! What part isn’t emotional or turbulent or, in their eyes, even tragic? Just about everything is!

That’s why we can’t avoid dealing with the drama! It’s very much a part of our teenagers daily lives. But there are varying degrees of drama. You have the friend drama, boy/girl drama, school drama, weight drama, acne drama, hair drama… need I go on? You get the point. But then you have drama that really can affect your teenager in a drastic way from the death of a friend to abuse to the breakup of a family! You see, the way they view drama is completely different than our perspective. And it’s our job as their parent, to help them learn how to view drama, how to handle drama, and even how to step away from drama when possible!

Our job is to teach our teens how to discern the truth of a matter. And for them to learn that discernment, sometimes we have to let them handle it themselves without our interference which can be difficult. If we are always interfering how will they ever learn to
do it for themselves.

Talk to your teenager about what they think defines drama in their life and how they think they should handle it. You might be surprised at how discerning your teen already is!

We will be jumping into our Summer Schedule starting June 14, 2015.  All youth, 6-12th grade will meet on Sunday nights from 6-8pm in the Youth Room.  There will be no regular Wednesday service, however, each week we will do a service project that corresponds with that weeks lesson.  Info will be posted on twitter, facebook, and via text.